I think I am going to leave the frozen tundra that is Chicago.
Where oh where shall I go?
Tahiti? The south of France? Mallorca, perhaps?
No, I think I will move to the tropical climate of Denmark. Yeah, that's it. That's a brilliant idea.
New Year's? It was amazing. The Danes are seriously unsane when it comes to flammable or ignitable materials. Every single person in the entire country outside lighting off fireworks as big as their houses with a blatant disregard for safety, sanity or the basic laws of gravity.
In fact, they are so addicted to them that they make special ones that you light at the dinner table, which hurl hard projectiles like whistles and noisemakers at unsuspecting guests while spewing metallic confetti into every nearby food dish and beverage glass. For some reason, Danish people find this highly amusing.
After enough drinks, you kind of have to agree with them.