overdosing on quaintness in Hillerod

Decided it was high time I did something that didn't involve working, drinking or going to the gym. So on a Sunday the week before last, I set out with Rico, the master of all things cultural at my agency, to check out Frederiksborg castle.

To be honest, Copenhagen isn't always the quaintest of European cities. Don't get me wrong, it definitely has its moments, but in terms of mainland Europe, you get the feeling that the Danes were too busy raping and pillaging to really put their hearts into interior and exterior decoration. Well, someone seriously let loose their inner metrosexuals when it came to Frederiksborg. Yet even in their wildest bits of architectural abandon, there is a masculinity to it. You would probably never dare use the word confection to describe Danish decor, even at its most ornate. Much like Scotland, you rather feel you'd get a swift kick somewhere unpleasant if you even tried.

Heck, even the naked guy on the top of the fountain, surrounded by cherubs and precious water jets looks like he's strutting around in the middle of a mosh pit. This can be kind of refreshing if you've ever spent significant bits of time in France. I've always kind of dug that hunting lodge look, and this place seriously ups the ante. It's supposed to be an art museum, but the art is passable at best and seriously awful at worst, so good thing the surroundings amaze. They had a self-portrait by Lars von Trier that makes one rather glad that he went into directing instead. I'd torture you with it here, but I rather think I do him a favor by not posting it. Better you always remember him as you know him now.

Luckily, the older pieces fare a bit better. This ship was made by a prisoner out of his dinner bones. Apparently, this was common practice among prisoners who made ornate ships and then sold them in order to get the money to buy things. Perhaps better meals with bigger bones to build more ships to buy better meals with bigger bones? Maybe Lars should have taken up carving instead.